I think that a good story should be a series of moments. A moment being defined as a coupling of action/perception that then produces an emotional response.
We experience the world through our five senses. We see, hear, taste, touch, smell. Followed by these experiences, is usually a feeling. We feel happy, sad, angry, disgusted, scared, surprised, and the infinite variations therein.
A good haiku captures a single moment. In three lines, it sets up a scene, sometimes a very elaborate one, and triggers a feeling in the reader. The brevity of it makes its all the more powerful. Each important moment of a film should have the same punch.
Of course, a film can't be just a series of moments. That's real life. The moments of a good story should all be connected in a meaningful way that creates one big emotional response at the end.
Anyways, so I wanted to share some of my favorite English haikus with you, so you know what the heck I'm talking about.
These are excerpts from The Haiku Anthology
(When you read them, try to be aware of the feeling that the poem brings up ... )
I stop to listen;
the cricket
has done the same
---Arizona Zipper
first snow ...
the children's hangers
clatter in the closet
---Michael Dylan Welch
my dead bother ....
hearing his laugh
in my laughter
---Nicholas Virgilio
At dawn remembering her bad grammar
---George Swede
the men on both sides
have taken
my armrests
---George Skane
Trying to forget him
stabbing
the potatoes.
---Alexis Rotella
by the autumn hill
my watercolor box
unopened
---Raymond Roseliep
buzzZ
slaP
buzzZ
---Alan Pizzarelli
neighbor's children leave...
casually the cat slips out
of the hall closet
---Patricia Neubauer
end of the cold spell
i'd forgotten the color
of my under socks
---Marlene Mountain
hearing us argue,
our old dog tiptoes past
her empty water bowl
---Carol Montgomery
Letting my tongue
deeper into the cool
ripe tomato
---Michael Mcclintock
the old album:
not recognizing at first
my own young face
---Elizabeth Searle Lamb
While the guests order,
the table cloth hides his hands--
counting his money
---Clement Hoyt
commercial break--
the cat and I
head for the kitchen
---William J. Higginson
I hear her sew
I hear the rain
I turn back a page
----Leroy Gorman
Weight lifter
slowly lifting
the tea cup
----Garry Gay
how come
whatshisname
never speaks to me
----Dee Evetts <--- he's amazing ... its hard to choose just one...
Shielding his eyes
with his baseball glove...
first geese
--Bernard Lionel Einbond
between the twirlers
and the marching band
the missing child
----Bruce Detrick
Waiting to see
the odometer's big change ...
missed it!
---Tom Clausen
long meeting
I study the pattern
embossed on the napkin
----Miriam Borne
the telephone
rings only once
autumn rain
----Nick Avis
cool eh?
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